Sound of silence happens everywhere. In a unique setting, this may happen to an inner person of you, where you prefer not to talk or disclose something because of fear and uncertainties. That person has to wait for the right time to come for telling the realities…for all things have its own time to be known. A common setting of silence is the absence of noise around in order to grasp what is going on and what is going to happen, to fully understand the stream of time and events as you get yourself involved in a rendezvous or an episode. Let me tell you my own version of silence…a silence that had happened two decades ago which had dramatically brought my family’s life into struggles and pain. Many would agree that “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it’s a matter of choice”. Well, I may had a mistake of choosing a mate. At the onset of this story I was shaken by worries and uncertainties, afraid to face the unknown but I had no choice except to be strong and go on with life because I had my kids and my career to live with. What had happened to my family was not unique to everybody. Broken home is a common scenario in this world, what matters most is how you face life after you were struck emotionally and became devastated. My silence during those challenging times had eventually made me determined to raise my lovely kids alone. Free of distractions from lawsuits I just let the time passed by… full of injustices and prejudices. Airing my life’s upheavals towards the authorities was a waste of time, money and effort. He has the money to buy the law, he has the intelligence to twist everything, to turn the good into bad and or bad into good. I focused my life on the brighter side…loving my precious children, providing their needs and training them to be the good individuals in the society. They were my inspirations…I laughed with them…cried with them….sang with them…did outdoor events with them…and everything that a single mom could do to fill the emptiness they felt inside…to ease the pain… the pain of waiting for a dad who remained silent in the other country. Years had passed...and silence, just like a grown cancer …had struck his ego upon watching these four grown-up children, living a happy and descent life. I realized how lucky I was to watch them grow in my care. They had been loving, caring, understanding, respectful and thoughtful. In short, they’re been my precious gems and my inspirations. It was impossible for a single mom like me to let her daughters finish their university degrees so the three of them landed as the call center agents in our city.
Sometimes I got sick of listening to my friend’s stories, relating how proud they were towards their sons and daughters who successfully earned their respective degrees in college. Mine has nothing to boast of…except that I loved them and they loved me too. We’ve been a happy family.We shared our jokes…and we listened to one another relating how we got success and how we handled our failures.
Silence became our old friend...and the kids tried to have connections with him through the social media portals and they found him on facebook. I left my kids doing their own initiative to talk to their father. It was their privilege anyway to know the whereabouts of their long lost father. Besides, they were mature enough to manage their emotions and at last, they found him in Dubai. They posted and shared pictures with him, sent him messages, invited him to be a friend but to no avail…because he didn’t care. Their words were just like silent raindrops fell…and echoed in the wells of silence.
No one dared to disturb the sounds of silence and life must go on despite of rejections. Whatever his side’s story was never known to us. Our keeping of silence was then our way of offering prayers and good wishes for him, may he was happy with his life in the other side of the globe. May he always saw us on facebook which we felt he did. Pride had devoured his ego…he was deprived of the real happiness yet above all things we knew he was still a good person, and a good father. Years had passed, until finally we received messages from our facebook account informing us that he died that day.
It was November 28, 2013 and early in the morning our hearts were stabbed by the so called flash of the neon lights but for us those neon lights had turned into swords…splitting our hearts to sorrow and finally broke the sounds of silence. Seeing his cadaver was for us seeing him in person. “Fools said I you do not know” yes, we were like “fools”. Happy, for at last we saw him but sad because he was dead. It was a sad and sorrowful reunion.
The silence we kept for almost two decades had been finally touched. Still we didn’t know what really had happened to him in Dubai, though he was able to talk to our third daughter before he died, many questions from our hearts were left unanswered. Pains had been stabbing our hearts since the day he left us. We tried to be strong and determined though we were weak…stood up willfully though we stumbled many times…and the sounds of silence kept pushing us to go on with our life.